Member of Parliament for North Thanet (Margate, Herne Bay & The Villages)
December. Brexit deal on the cliff edge. Mayor Boris makes a dash to Brussels for a dinner with Ursula von Der Leyen. It`s supposed to be a charm offensive not offensive and charmless. A car-crash and lukewarm menu with too much fish on the agenda. “Australia-type” is the new euphemism for a No-Deal that even the Aussies themselves do not appear to relish. The unemployment toll rises as Mister Philip Green`s Arcadia `empire` crashes. Do we seriously need to add No Deal to the economic meltdown caused by the Coronavirus pandemic?
November. The election of the 46th President of the United States is the gift to journalists that keeps on giving as Nevada, Arizona, Michigan, Georgia and Pennsylvania pore over their results. The outgoing President commences a `legal blitz` in ten States although Son-in-Law Jared Kushner and tarnished ex- New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani are scarcely “Shock and Awe”. Twelve days after the event The Tramp appears to concede, graciously saying that “Joe Biden won by fraud”. He is clearly still looking for his ` Big
October. It seems like and is a long time ago but there was a virtual Conservative Conference with virtual fringe meetings, virtual speeches from Priti Flamingo, Dishi Sunak and Mayor Boris, virtual enthusiasm but no virtual laughter or applause. An SNP MP caught Coronavirus, came down by train to Westminster, made a speech in the Chamber and went back to Scotland by train. She is still an MP but the Wee Lassie in the Tin Hat has booted her out of the SNP. The Commander in Chief, on the other hand, held a coronavirus
September. Six months into the Covid 19 pandemic, policy plagued by contradiction and confusion, a hokey-cokey of advice, in-out -in of lockdowns as the second wave hits, a less than `world-beating` test-and-trace system that cannot keep pace with demand; the shifting sands of quarantine restrictions placed upon overseas tourist hotspots as the resurgence of the virus spreads and holidaymakers again try to flood home to beat self-isolation restrictions; the starting and stopping of primary and secondary education as
August. A silly season of localised lockdowns, `staycations` and chaotic exam results. The steady flow of channel-crossing inflatable craft carrying people-trafficked migrants continues. Mayor Boris finally publishes a dissolution honours catalogue that makes Marcia Falkender`s legendary `lavender list` almost modest. “Build, build, build” is the order of the month and Mr. Secretary Jenrick pulls a Planning White Paper that reads like a developer`s charter out of the “Communities and Local Government” hat .
July.` Liberation Day` for some but not for Leicester. Stanley `Uncle Bulgaria` Johnson heads for the hills in Greece while his little boy has a masked ball engaging in a weight-loss campaign. Many lose their jobs including Cabinet Secretary Sir Mark Sedwill but his exit is only mildly Covid-related. The Darling Bud withers the Prime Minister from the back benches.
June. Covid 19 continues to dominate Government, parliament and everyday life. And death as the toll of victims passes the forty-thousand mark. The killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis sparks a firestorm of protest internationally. Back lives do matter. So does the maintenance of law and order. Putin`s neo-Soviet Union rigs a `referendum` , the Chinese flout the treaty to impose rule from Beijing upon Hong Kong and The Tramp receives a bible-belting in Washington. A `world class` testing and tracing regime for C19 gets
May. Too many Cummings but no Goings. Thousands wait for package holiday refunds as the travel industry goes into meltdown. The Home Office does the Hokey Cokey over quarantine while the Home Secretary herself struggles to get a handle on the largest number of illegal migrants to cross La Manche in a single month. Though to be fair she is not assisted by the escort for rubber dinghies helpfully provided by M.Macron`s matelots. The Salford Broadcasting Corporation is on the rack over editorial bias. “Infamy, In
April. The new June. Sunshine, flowers, birds nesting, butterflies flitting, native wild animals thriving. Pity about the Covid 19 but you cannot have everything can you? Her Maj addresses the nation for only the fourth time in her sixty-eight years on the throne – apart from the Queen`s Christmas speeches, of course. We celebrate The Big Night In with the Heir to the Throne and a cast of other minor celebrities. The churches are closed for Easter but, hey, Archbishop Justin will offer us a homily from his homely kitchen and the Bishop in Canterbury, Rose Hudson Wilkin, will sermonize wonderfully from her own socially-
Mad March. It all began so normally. Boris bumbling, The Tramp in ranting self-denial, Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders slugging it out for the privilege of being the next person to lose the Presidential race for the Democrats, Harry and Meghan`s last Royal Hurrah, The Brothers and Sisters squabbling, sorry campaigning, over the soul and future of the British Labour Party, non=negotiations of the post-Brexit futures of the UK and the EU and the French Foreign Minister threatening a new `fish war`, Priti still sticking in the Home Office, still waiting on decisions about Heathrow Runway Three and High Speed Two but there will be a 1.9
February. A Leap Year. As if we needed and extra day of floods, fire, pestilence and death. Coronavirus, or to be more exact Covid 19, is spreading if not at the rate of an Australian bushfire then certainly with disturbing rapidity. The press does its best to spread alarm and any sense of proportion has gone out of the window but the doom-mongers may yet have their day. The Tramp will build a higher wall to stop alien germs from reaching the United States via Mexico. Storm Ciara is followed by Storm Dennis is followed by Storm Jorge. Will it never stop raining? Apparently not. Rivers break their banks, flood defences are
January. “Ten years to save the planet”. Megxit, Brexit, the trials of Harvey Weinstein and the tribulations of The Tramp. Anne Sacoolas remains a fugitive from British justice, “justice “in Cyprus finds a young rape victim guilty of wasting police time, cross-channel migration attempts reach nearly two thousand for the past year and forty-three people try the night journey in rubber dinghies on New Year`s Eve. The Labour leadership contest to replace Red Jerry rolls onwards towards the almost inevitable car-crash result, The Prime Minister ambles back from his winter holiday to review the consequences of the drone strike that The
December. The end of a `bumpy road` or the entrance to a cul-de-sac? Hope for the former but don`t rule out the latter! A General Election leading to an unexpected landslide victory for the Conservative Party as the `Red Wall` across Britain crumbles. Celebrations and a conference to mark the 70th anniversary of NATO end, in keeping with the spirit of 2019, on a bum note. More murders on London Bridge, strikes in France, rail strikes reminiscent of the 1970`s in Britain, a `Mafia State` in Malta and the impeachment of the Commander-in-Chief of the forces of the United States of America.